Heroes and friends stand beside us, through thick and thin

Richard Wagamese
Richard Wagamese

There’s a country song I thought of recently. I haven’t actually heard it for years but I found myself humming it one day as I sat in the bow of our boat staring out across the water and the land in the sunshine of early fall.

It’s called Heroes and Friends. Your heroes will help you find good in yourself.
Your friends won’t forsake you for somebody else. They’ll both stand beside you through thick and through thin. That’s how it goes with heroes and friends. That’s how that song goes and it’s become important to me.

See, I had a lack of heroes when I was growing up. I had a lack of real friends. As an adult I moved around the country a lot and I left far more people behind me than I kept at my side. I consider that one of the most grievous losses in my life.

I think that way because I’m living the opposite now. My wife and I keep some pretty tremendous company. Our home is filled with ebullient energy when our friends are around and I’ve started feeling just a little bit lonesome when they go. They matter. They count.

Our friends are schoolteachers, academics, engineers, business types, writers, artists, retirees, unemployed and undecided. Each of them compels us with the power of their stories and the way that they live their lives. They’re examples to me. They teach me how I want to be. They’re my heroes.

That song says that heroes can help you find good in yourself. That has become incredibly true. Our friends have seen me at my worst and they’ve seen me at my best and they’ve loved me through all of it. They’ve never given up on me. They’ve always been there.

Heroes have the ability to change our lives for the better. They have the ability to grant us vision, of ourselves and the world, that makes us want to become more heroic ourselves. They change us without effort and make us more by virtue of their presence.

Friends have the same ability. They make us feel accepted and worthy and valuable. They make us want to be more. More for them, for the community and for ourselves. I know that now and I value it highly. My heroes are my friends and we ride the range together just like the old song goes.