Gaining cultural insights while planning a wedding
I recently got engaged at the end of May and have slowly started the gargantuan task of planning a wedding. My fiancé and I aren’t religious so we decided on a hand-fasting ceremony (A nod to our shared Celtic heritage), but we still want to incorporate some of his Jewish and my Cree heritage into our big day.
I have come to the realization although I am proudly Cree, I am also ignorant of my culture’s wedding traditions. I have never been to a First Nation’s wedding ceremony, but I wanted to do some research and see what customs I could incorporate. There is a fine line between paying homage and lip service to our backgrounds. I don’t want to be disrespectful because I don’t practice, but I don’t want to completely ignore things either. Fortunately with weddings there are lots of aspects to explore the ceremony, clothing and food.
The main part of a First Nations ceremony is a pipe ceremony where both the Bride and Groom smoke from a pipe. This one of those things where I feel if we were to do it, it would be inauthentic because we don’t practice that spirituality (Plus I am not sure our venue would permit that or smudging as it is indoors)
One of the common aboriginal traditions is to have the ceremony outside, so that is one aspect we won’t be participating in. We are having a winter wedding and outside just isn’t happening. Interestingly enough both Jewish and First Nations ceremonies can include getting married underneath something whether it is an arbor or a Chuppah. Getting married under a natural wooden archway might be an interesting aspect to include, if we can figure out the logistics of transporting one etc or again if that would be permitted.
In Western weddings, there is sometimes a unity ceremony included whether it is pouring two different sands into one container or using two candles to light one larger one. I have read a lot about first Nations version which seems to be the Bride and Groom simultaneously drinking from a special vase. I was really set on doing the unity candle ceremony, until I read about this one tradition where the Bride and Groom are presented with two feathers that are tied together in a way that they can’t be separated symbolizing the union. I fell in love with that idea and definitely want to include that. I have an affinity for ducks so it feels very personal to us.
Our wedding clothing is interesting to consider, it would almost be playing a role if I were to wear a buckskin dress, or if he were to wear a yarmulke; that’s just not who we are. I would feel differently if either of us were Pow Wow dancers, then by all means it would be appropriate because it would be a major part of our lives. When I was a kid my grandmother taught me beadwork so I could make a headpiece for my hair or veil. It may not be a specific tradition but it is incorporating a part of my culture. I have also read about presenting moccasins meant to be worn for ceremonies and sacred life events, but I don’t feel that it would be appropriate because we don’t participate.
When it comes to food I am a picky and very fussy eater who doesn’t eat game, so I don’t think a traditional feast would be for us. But one thing I know for sure is I definitely want some Indian Tacos for our late night food! ( I have to have everytime we go to Pow Wows)
Although I may not be incorporating a lot of traditions, my research has definitely brought me a few ideas to include in our wedding that feel right. It has also allowed me the chance to gain new cultural insights.