You are not forgotten: Honouring the missing and murdered

Jingle dress dancers, staff carriers, drummers, supporters, and Corey Jacobs (far right) the remarkable young man who cut his hair in ceremony to honour the missing and murdered women, stand together in remembrance. (Picture courtesy of Tasha Beeds)
Jingle dress dancers, staff carriers, drummers, supporters, and Corey Jacobs (far right) the remarkable young man who cut his hair in ceremony to honour the missing and murdered women, stand together in remembrance. (Picture courtesy of Tasha Beeds)

By Julie Kapyrka

PETERBOROUGH – Hundreds of people, including Elders, Chiefs, councillors, local politicians, and many members of both Indigenous and settler communities gathered beside Ziibii Odenabe (Otonabee River) at Millennium Park on October 4th to honour and remember the thousands of missing and murdered Indigenous women across Canada. Several stunning red dresses hung among the trees at the entrance to the Park, a poignant visual memorial to those that are missed.

Hosted by Niijkiwendidaa Anishnaabekwewag Services Circle (NASC), in a very emotional and spiritually charged atmosphere, people gathered in a large circle as they listened to the women’s hand drum, various guest speakers, and several musical tributes. Jingle dress dancers performed a healing dance while the Big Drum and the Nani-gish-kung Singers sang honour songs. There was a collective group prayer. The vigil ended with a water ceremony and participants gathered along the banks of the river and offered tobacco to the water in prayer.

Joyce Carpenter, one of the many speakers at the vigil lost her 14 year-old daughter Patricia, twenty-three years ago. She was found upside down in a hole at a construction site in Toronto. Patricia’s death was never investigated. The coroner expressed his concern that this should have been ruled as a homicide. But nothing was ever done.

Similarly, John Fox spoke about his daughter Cheyenne whom he believes was murdered. Although the police have ruled her death as suicide, the coroner believed that was undetermined.

Fox appealed to the attendees stating that “we all must protect our daughters, our sisters, mothers, our women, that this is important for all peoples.” Both Joyce and John expressed that they have been asking for justice and respect for their daughters and will continue to do so. They also conveyed their concern about the lack of attention by current government to the number of missing and murdered Indigenous women: “not on the radar” speaks volumes.

Keynote speaker for the vigil, Mrs. Universe Ashley Callingbull, unfortunately was called away for unforeseen circumstances. Out of this disappointment came a great message, said NASC Executive Director Elizabeth Stone: “It was a gentle reminder that this gathering was not about one person but many people, particularly the victims and their families. It is also about community, the whole human community coming together to acknowledge this issue because the government won’t. The government has fallen behind and needs to catch up to the community. Until missing and murdered Indigenous women is viewed as a Canadian issue at its core, it will remain an Indigenous issue. It is about many people.”

Corey Jacobs, a young man from Wikiwemikong, moved the crowd when he spoke about how he finally reached his breaking point after he learned about the murder of Loretta Saunders, an Inuk student studying at Saint Mary’s University in Halifax, who was working on her thesis about missing and murdered Indigenous women when she disappeared and was later found murdered. He decided to honour Loretta and her memory by cutting his hair and entering into a 1 year ceremony as a demonstration of publically beginning the grieving process – he created a You Tube video sharing this deeply meaningful sacrifice. Jacobs says that hair represents many things to Indigenous peoples. It is a symbol of strength in unity and can represent the mind, body and spirit, or man, woman, and child, or love, kindness and honesty. He stated that he gives his hair for Loretta and for the people who are in mourning and for all the missing and murdered Canadian women. Particularly he said he gives his hair to Loretta’s unborn child who will not receive justice. After the year passes, Jacobs will end his grieving by giving his hair up to the fire, water and earth and then feasting the individuals he is mourning.

Julie Lalonde, a social justice activist, called out the misogyny and racism that is plaguing the Canadian justice system. She called upon the “white folks” to be pro-active within their privileged spaces and to help people in power to recognize these realities and to educate themselves so that they may decolonize their thinking.

One of the event organizers, Kate Brennan, spoke about how this gathering demonstrated the deep strength and commitment of community to honour and remember Indigenous women and to work together to end the violence: “Although we weren’t able to march this year as an organization, a number of community members gathered in front of City Hall and walked together through the downtown core making their way to Millennium Park. That is amazing.” She expressed gratitude to everyone who came out to join the gathering and to those “who inspire us to do the work.”

Spirit and emotion were full at the closing of the ceremony. Non-Indigenous and Indigenous community standing side-by-side with mutual concern for missing and murdered Indigenous women, mutual disgust with the way things have been handled, and mutual determination to see justice.

As the ceremony came to a close, spirit left a gift, a wonderfully powerful reminder of what the gathering was about – as Erin Hayward, from NASC, began the lead on the Traveling Song, she suddenly and smoothly broke into the Strong Women’s Song. It was beautiful and moving and just right. Participants walked out of the park listening to the heart beat of Mother Earth.

Although at times heart wrenching and honestly poignant the gathering was indeed a demonstration of love and sorrow, of loss and hope and a collective strength of resolve to pursue justice for all missing and murdered Indigenous women. It was a beautiful ceremony, a beautiful day, a beautiful gathering of support in community, a beautiful remembrance and honouring. Kwewag you are not forgotten.