By Maurice Switzer

1. Donald, the funny hair guy

(To the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)

Donald, the funny hair guy

had a very nasty streak;

He pulled the wings off fireflies,

just to see if they got weak;

All of the members of Congress

used to laugh and call him names;

They never let poor Donald

join in any Senate games;

Then one soggy No-vem-ber

Barack came to say:

‘Okay, boys, I’ve got to go…

time to pick another Shmoe’;

So, all the people voted,

and, you know, the strangest thing,

They picked the funny hair guy,

who told them: ‘You can kiss my ring!’

 2. Good King Justin

(To the tune of Good King Wenceslas)

Good King Justin he did come

to save us from Ste-phen;

Still, the pipelines he did want,

deep and round and even;

Trust me, Chiefs, I love you all,

cross my heart this yu-el;

But I need Alberta votes,

and China wants our fu-u-el.

3. Joy to the World

(To the tune of Joy to the World)

Joy to the World, the T….R…C,

Has come….to save….our souls!

Let’s thank our lucky staaaaars,

and gas up all our caaaaars;

We’re done with rundown schools,

and stupid INAC rules;

Let’s head out of tow-n, to Mur-ray’s place.

4. O Climate Change

(To the tune of O Holy Night)

O cli-mate change, why does no-one believe you,

why can’t they see, the polar bears are hot;

They’re get-ting snow, in places like New Zea-land,

still, miners say, ‘It’s just a bunch of rot!’

and drilling holes, as deep as they can go;

‘No car-bon tax’,

the prem-i-ers tell Trudeau;

O pet-rol-e-um,

the oil must always flow;

O Trans-Ca-na-daa

makes liiife ex-tinct.

5. C’mon, Cleveland Indians

(To the tune of O, Come all ye Faithful)

C’mon, Cleveland Indians,

time to change your logo;

It makes you look

just like a bunch of clowns;

Why not admit it,

no-one likes Chief Wa-hoo;

The Cub-bies beat your pants off,

The Cub-bies beat your pants off,

The Cub-bies beat your pants off,

Chief Wa-hoo’s toast.