A reconciliation teaching and kindness for Sturgeon Falls team

Trigger warning: readers may be triggered by the recount of Indian Residential Schools. To access a 24-hour National Crisis Line, call: 1-866-925-4419. Community Assistance Program (CAP) can be accessed for citizens of the Anishinabek Nation: 1-800-663-1142

By Kelly Anne Smith

NIPISSING FIRST NATION— Hockey mom Tammy Desmoulin wanted to do more than just take a photograph of her son Axel’s team Sting U11, Team #3, when they donned orange jerseys for a game in Sturgeon Falls, Ont. Desmoulin asked that the team attend the Anishinabek Nation Indian Residential School Commemoration Monument to talk about Indian Residential School (IRS) infamy on Anishnaabe people. And then the players and parents committed to the coach’s new Kindness Campaign.

At the IRS monument, Tammy Desmoulin spoke to the young hockey players, their parents, and coaches all dressed in orange about her family’s connections to four First Nations. Tammy and husband Randy Penasse are parents of sons Colby and Axel.

“My husband Randy’s mom was from Dokis First Nation; Randy’s dad is from Nipissing First Nation. My mom was from Biigtigong Nishnaabeg and my dad, who is also from Biigtigong Nishnaabeg, also has ties to Long Lake #58 First Nation through a grandmother.”

Desmoulin is the Niigaan Gdizhaami Fund Coordinator at the Kinoomaadziwin Education Body and an Indian Day School Survivor. Stating the last Residential School closed in 1997, “which wasn’t that long ago”, she lit sweetgrass for “a good little smudge.”

“This is the Indian Residential School Monument. It was erected in 2013 to honour the children that went to Residential School, who made it home, who survived and those who didn’t make it home. I don’t know if you noticed, in the front, there are little shoes. Those represent the children that didn’t make it home.”

Desmoulin spoke of the nefarious reason for the federal government to fund Indian Residential Schools.

“Believe it or not, this is in the government documents, the reason behind the Residential Schools was to kill the Indian in the child. The point was to assimilate us into society so there would no longer be Indian people. But, I’d like to say that Axel and I are here because our ancestors survived and fought to make sure that we’re here. It created all these years of this ripple effect of intergenerational trauma because my grandparents, both paternal and maternal, went to Residential School. They were taken away at seven years old. They were ripped from their parents, sent to this school. There were nuns and priests there. And they weren’t allowed to speak their language. I remember my grandfather telling me stories about how he’d forget and he would speak Ojibwe. Then, he would get hit. When they were parents, they were afraid to teach their children Ojibwe because of what happened to them in Residential School. So, that affected my parents who lost their language completely, along with all the other generational trauma. My grandparents didn’t know how to be parents because they weren’t taught how to love. So, then they didn’t teach their children how to love.”

“Then came along my generation,” continued Desmoulin as the players in orange listened intently. “This is the third generation, my husband and myself. There’s this Indian Residential School. There’s this Day School. We have all this trauma in our lives and we have two choices. We can continue this trauma or we can stop the cycle of abuse. We chose to stop the cycle of abuse because we had these beautiful babies that we need to nourish and they need to have children and create a whole other generation of children who are loved and valued.”

Head coach Jean Beauchemin then introduced the Kindness Campaign.

“As a group, we’re hoping that every month we can commit to doing five things that are beyond just showing up for a game. We did that today, but there’s more to it than that. As a team, it allows us to understand that we have a commitment to each other and that all of the actions that we take, we have an impact on those around us.”

Beauchemin talked of being kind with the team during the months of November, December, January, and February while the players are still on the ice in the West Nipissing Minor Hockey Association.

“We are going to do something kind for the community. Every child will do something nice for a family member – a brother or sister or parent or pet. And do something for a teammate and then two hockey related things. So, whether it’s shooting pucks…or go for a run or do something that is going to help you be a better teammate to be committed to each other.”

After his mother’s teaching, nine-year-old Axel Penasse reflected on her words.

“It makes me kinda sad that all the Residential School Survivors went through all that.”

When friends asked about Indian Residential Schools, Axel wanted to make them aware of how the children were hurt.

Desmoulin thanked the team for taking part.

“It means a lot to see everybody show up. Thank you for being allies. It means a lot that Axel has allies because Axel is a little Anishnaabe boy. He has a little bit more struggles than the average person. He’s visibly Anishinaabe.”